Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Balance.

Over the weekend, Jason and I had a teeny marital spat. That's what married couples do sometimes, I know, I know, #nbd.  I don't usually talk about our business. I tend to be a bit more private about our arguments because I don't believe in airing my dirty laundry. We've all seen it happen before, and let's just agree that it isn't pretty.
Not pretty at all.

However, this discussion made me realize something. Which I honestly believe is the point of some arguments. You need to know what caused it and how to prevent it from happening in the future. I have no sense of balance in my life. I come home from work and immediately jump on my phone to catch up on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Because all of those pictures of the vine app are sooooo interesting  Interesting enough that it consumes me while Jason talks about his day.


Jason will try to grab my attention and I just usually end up saying "yeah,yeah,yeah...one more thing" Because that's polite and all. Then after dinner I usually beg to watch Real Housewives of every.single.city. It's an addiction that I probably should just seek help for. Once Jason declines (several times), I just head into our room and watch it anyway, by myself.


Now guarantee this doesn't happen every night, but a few times a week I choose TV and social media over my best friend. Inevitably  I also chose this over doing and light cleaning and laundry. Then Friday shows up and our house looks like a Hurricane came bustling through and left no survivors. I freak, sometimes scream and sometimes cry. Embarrassing. 

I've come to the point where I need to find balance to fit everything in. I agree to everything...work, babysitting my nephews/cousins, girls nights....but when it comes time to chill out and just hang with Jason I decline. I should've made this my New Years Resolution  but I'm a too late and too scared of actually breaking this one. 

So help me out, give me some tips!
What are ways you find balance in your day-to-day schedule?
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14 comments:

  1. Cayla January 29, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    I feel your pain girl. Being a newlywed is tough stuff! They don't tell ya that part. One thing that has worked for us is a "tech free" night. My husband is on the road M-Friday, so when he comes home, he wants to be with me. Not me and my phone, and twitter, and facebook! Whatever night we declare to make date night, we leave our phones in the car and just enjoy each other while we do dinner or drinks or whatever! It was tough at first - the next day I felt like I needed to "catch up," but that feeling slowly went away. Hope this helped somewhat :) Just know others out there feel the same! xoxo

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  2. KaitJanuary 29, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    Super great post, lady! Balance is key--and I need to find some too! XO

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  3. Sara Elizabeth January 29, 2013 at 9:55 AM

    I find that having and really utilizing a planner helps me plan out my week and then I make daily to-do lists and stick to them. I'm not married or live with a significant other but I do try to unplug from every social media (phone off & in a drawer, laptop off) when I really need to get something done or if I have people over. I hope this helps!!

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  4. Amanda*January 29, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    This is great! It is something that I also struggle with...something that has worked for me is getting up earlier than normal and getting in my social media stuff early! I also check Facebook and Twitter a couple times through the day and I rarely let myself check it at night. I don't know if your job allows it, but with my job, I usually spend my "breaks" looking at other blogs, Twitter, etc. If me and the hubs are watching a TV or a movie, I will leave my phone across the room so I don't feel tempted to constantly check every social media app. Good luck :)

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  5. Anna @ The Things I'm LearningJanuary 29, 2013 at 10:03 AM

    Balance is tough - especially when you throw kids in! I've started doing better with planning and that has made a HUGE difference. I have a pretty busy job, our boys are involved in some rec. sports and we have things at church, so planning in advance has definitely helped. I can't say I still don't have that guilty feeling for wanting a few "quiet" minutes, but overall, I feel much better. It's really important to me to exercise (I'm a big runner), so I've started doing that mainly on weekday mornings with a few late afternoon runs. And I've started meal planning. I've always laughed about meal planning, but it has helped tremendously. I don't stress about what I'm cooking and we don't waste as much food. I don't stick to a strict schedule, but at least I know I have the ingredients to make 3-4 dinners a week on the nights I choose. I think the thing I struggle with most now is falling asleep when we put the boys down - I haven't been able to combat that one yet! Good luck and know you aren't alone!

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  6. put a bow on it [kaitlyn]January 29, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    This is a daily thing in our house. While we are watching TV Andre' will grab the phone out of my hand and steal it from me - and it's not even like what I was looking at was SUPER interesting. I need to work on this FOR SURE. RIght there with ya!

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  7. JordonJanuary 29, 2013 at 11:02 AM

    Even thought T & I are not married, we are a live-in engaged couple and find ourselves in a similar struggle. We both are ridiculously guilty of obsessing over twitter updates and I am yapping about the latest Facebook drama. I think in our society today it is a battle that everyone faces and everyone is striving to find that balance. T & I just had a talk about that this week and are still trying to find how we should balance better! You are not alone girly!

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  8. keepingupwithkristenJanuary 29, 2013 at 12:57 PM

    The best part is, you're not alone. I honestly think this is something everyone deals with on a daily basis. I just got out of a serious relationship and he would always pick on me for being on my phone constantly. "You over there Facebookin' again?!" I finally made myself leave my phone in my purse when I was with him. I think the problem is our phone's are there..in our face...all day long. Out of sight, out of mind def. helped with me!

    Even though I'm not in a relationship anymore, I'm still just as bad. Last night my roomie and I decided to watch a movie and I honestly didn't watch any of it because I was too distracted by a new blog I found.

    Geez louise what is social media doing to us?! But, like you said...facing the problem and acknowledging that it's there is the first step!

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  9. lil desiquaJanuary 29, 2013 at 4:19 PM

    Ugh, I know exactly what you mean! This can be an issue for any couple!

    I'm not married, but my bf and I have been together 4 years and live together, so I'm going to share with you anyway! One major thing we do on an almost daily basis is have dinner together- minus phones. We usually have the TV on, but it's more for just some background noise. And we just talk- about our day, about upcoming events, whatever. We also have a "date night" at least once a month. Not always fancy, sometimes just movie and dinner, but just some "us" time.

    As for girlfriends, I schedule this in at least once a month too. It's important to keep in touch with your girls! Good luck and hope this helps!

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  10. MaxineJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:28 PM

    You've figured out the hardest part... finding balance. I'm not married but my boy and I live together, so take my advice lightly. We've been successful by learning to relax, communicating ALWAYS even when we're annoyed, and make plans for a date night at least once a week. That's all I have for you.. love your blog BTW :-)

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  11. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2013 at 9:32 PM

    Girl- this is hard for everyone- it's so great you're recognizing it eaaaarly on in your marriage so you can fix it. I dont have any answers for you bit I have a few suggestions. What if you and Jason had a 30min- 1 hr decompression time since you work. During this time y'all can check social media or watch a show or whatever (it doesn't have to be when you first get home. It can be 1 hr after dinner even.) Then the rest of the time you put your phones in a special place- a bowl or a spot on the counter or whatever- so you get good quality time. As far as saying yes to everything, this is something I'm realizing this year: there are SO MANY good things out there but I can't do all of them. Sometimes I need to say no to good things to open myself up for better things (even if it's just rest time). And my last tip is DATE YOU HUBBY. Schedule once every two weeks that just the two of you go in a date- free or expensive, doesn't matter. Make it just the two of you and your marriage will benefit greatly. Good luck beautiful!

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  12. Laura DarlingJanuary 30, 2013 at 9:29 PM

    This is something I struggle with too! I try to do one chore every night - immediately when I get home from work. That way things stay maintained throughout the week and I make sure I do it right when i get home - if I lay down and relax I know I'll never want to get up to iron/vacuum/wash dishes!

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  13. Jen @ That's What She ReadFebruary 1, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    my hubs and I have this discussion ALOT. he hates my addiction to social media/my blog. But he also knows that my blog makes me happy so he's understanding to an extend. Our rule is that I don't get on the blogosphere/twitter until after 8 and no phones at the dinner table. I give up watching tv, that way when he wants to watch all of the shows he loves, I get the computer. Good compromise huh? Balance is hard, and you are so not alone in this! I think a mutual understanding of what is okay and what crosses the lines into annoying the other is the best way to finding a solution! (not that I know anything about it, lol) :)

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  14. Alisa MarieFebruary 1, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    My husband always complains that I'm on my computer too much. First of all he bough me a new Mac for christmas, therefore encouraging me to blog more (atleast that's what I thought).... Guess, that's now - HOWEVER he is probably on his phone an equal amount of time. I tell him if he wants to watch something together AKA not sports, then I will turn the computer off. We have to find a balance of what we want to watch together - I don't wanna watch what he watches and he doesn't wanna watch what I want. NORMALLY I end up watching something more of his liking, but there is no way in HELL he would watch the bachelor! HAHA, I guess we have to make little sacrifices here and there. Good luck!

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